GENDER ROLES OR GENDER RULES?

For most of their lives Khyri and Kielle have been gender neutral. It started when we had their baby showers. Since the Hubs and I didn't find out if our children were going to be male or female, we had gender neutral parties. Everything was yellow, orange, and green.

Growing up, I was a tomboy and into "boy" things like little league and bugs. I don't want my children to grow up in boxes labeled "girl" and "boy". As my munchkins are getting older, it is getting more difficult to shield them from the bounds of society's gender roles. Our first hurdle - overcoming assigned colors.

I tell people all the time that I like shopping for boys clothes more than girls clothes. I like the variety of colors that are offered for boys clothing. Think about it - boy clothing comes in blue, red, green, brown, orange, gray, black, etc. What colors do you see when you buy girls clothing? Pink, pink, and more pink. Every now and then you'll see lavender or yellow strewn about, but mostly you see pink. Why are girls limited to one color? It would be different if all of the boys' clothing was blue and all of the girls' clothing was pink. Then at least both genders would be limited to one color, but this is not the case. Girls are limited to pink and boys have a whole rainbow, minus pink and lavender, to wear.

I know this is a leap, but to me this is a subtle social construct that influences or rather limits the potential for girls. Just looking at clothing options little girls are nudged to believe that they can only wear one or two specific colors. I'm no psychologist or child development specialist, but how does that affect what they think is possible for their career choices? If Kielle is only shown pink does this discourage her from trying on blue or gray? Will she feel that she is somehow sub-par because she doesn't fit into the color construct if her favorite colors are actually red and blue? As she grows up, will she believe that women can only have certain careers?

As I searched the Toys R Us page putting together the munchkins wishlist for Christmas, I noticed that a lot of toys now are coming in 'girl' and 'boy' colors.  I found this to be confusing. Why is there a need for a pink laptop? Why can't girls use the green laptop? Is green now only a boys color? Do they type different letters? Is emphasis being put on the laptop being pretty and not functional?

Most of the boy toys come in primary colors. Now supposedly primary colors are the first colors that the human eye begins to distinguish as an infant grows. So by creating pastel or "girl" colored infant toys are we setting little girls back from the beginning? My good friend bought Khyri a huge set of Mega Bloks for his first Chirstmas. The ones we have are primary colored, but I also noticed that they sell pastel colors. Kielle plays with the primary colored blocks with no problem.

Now I'm saying that there doesn't need to be variety. I'm all for different color choices and more options. I just don't think that there should be gender specific options based on something as simple as color. If the easels below were designed differently because girls are shorter during their toddler years or something of that nature I'd be ok, but to simply change the color of the easels doesn't make sense to me.

A friend of mine did point out that pink toys are now being made because there is a demand for them. She said that these toys may actually encourage girls to play with toys other than dolls since legos, tonka, trucks, etc. come in pink. I understand this position, but to me I think you need to look at the beginning of the issue. Pink toys are needed because girls are conditioned to believe that pink toys are for girls. If girls are not conditioned to believe these things, then the need for 'separate but equal' colored toys would not be necessary. Children truly are born colorblind. They have no preconceived notions about colors. It is the society, mostly marketers, that create this construct for young girls from the very beginning.

Is there an assumption that the 'girl' colors are softer and therefor inferior or should young girls accept this color construct and redefine it themselves? In my opinion, the color pink brings along with it a notion of not as serious, not as strong, and not as educational as the traditional 'boy' colors. Thinking about redefining the color pink led me to think why don't colleges have 'girl' colors? There is no university that has pink as a school color. Even the all female colleges have use traditionally 'male' colors. I guess my concern is that I don't want Kielle to feel like she can only wear pink and only do 'girl' things and for Khyri to be limited to boy things. I applaud my parents for encouraging me to experience any and everything whether it was 'girlish' or 'boyish' *shout out to Tom's Pizzeria Sharks (my little league baseball team)* Me and the hubby will try to make sure that the munchkins are not completely swayed by color rules and supposed gender roles. It is going to be an uphill battle though for sure.

So, is there something there? I don't know. I believe that for toys the primary colors should be the universal colors for learning and fun. For clothing I want to start a clothing store for little girls called "Everything But Pink" hahahahahha. As for the Christmas wishlist, I'm looking at the doctor's kits below and will probably lean towards getting the 'serious' one in primary green. Will Kielle play with it if its not pink? I don't know for sure, but my guess is yes - a toy is a toy.

READY...SET... PRESCHOOL!

There comes a time when a young man must leave the nest and embark on a journey. Khyri's journey started today. He went to preschool!

We've been looking for a new school for Khyri for the last few months. We were able to get him into the Little Apron Academy (LAA), a Bright Start center very close to the hubby's job. We pulled him out of his daycare and for the past two months, Khyri has been enjoying his summer with Kielle and I at home everyday. I have gotten so used to having him around. Literally every morning he comes into our room and gets on the outer edge of the bed on my side and waits for me to open my eyes. How sweet is that!?!?! What a great way to wake up each morning! I love having Khyri stay home with me, but I know that he has to grow up and spread his wings. Some things can stay the same though right!?!?!?

I woke up this morning, Monday, August 6th, to my baby boy on the edge of my bed again :-) He must have known we had a big day ahead of us, because he wasn't awake. He was in a deep sleep. While looking at him, I reassured myself (for the umpteenth time ahha) that this is a great next step for Khy and I got up and got dressed. I was super quiet because I didn't want to wake him up. I wanted him to get as much sleep as possible and, more importantly, to shake off my nerves before he woke up ahahha. I had laid Khyri's clothes out the night before so we were ready to go. I had also packed his Georgia Tech bookbag with back up clothing and sunscreen. Time to get started. But before I woke him up, I had to snap a few photos :-)

Khyri knew that he was starting his new school today and though he seemed excited, he still took forever to get dressed. I mean really?!?! How long does it take to put on your socks??! Good thing the hubby, Kielle and I were dressed already - half the battle was won.We were not going to be late on the first day! Not.On.My.Watch.

Since we had visited the school back in May, Khyri wasn't surprised or nervous en route to LAA. He actually seemed calm and ready when we pulled up to the front door. He surveyed the area and got reacquainted with the building.

 

After we got some new brochures about the curriculum,  read the classroom procedures, and learned how to check Khyri in and out, we went down the stairs and headed to Khyri' classroom.

When we got to the classroom, Khyri was a little hesitant to go inside. We opened the door and his teacher came outside to talk to us. Khyri was not budging. This was going to take some coaxing hahahaha. I got down on my knees so I could be eye level with him and explained to him that he will have a great time here making new friends, learning new things, and playing with toys. As I was talking to him, a little boy literally came bounding down the hall towards the classroom next door. His mother could not keep up with him; he was so so excited to get into that room! I said, "Look at  how happy he is to go to school Khyri! Man it must really be fun inside if he's so excited!" Next thing I know, Khyri squared up his shoulders, turned the knob, and walked into the classroom.

As the teacher came towards the door to welcome him in, I ducked behind the outside wall and started crying. He looked like a big boy! This is the beginning. I saw Khyri's whole life flash before my eyes. First he leaves me for preschool, then for college, then for his wife. So. Not. Ready. I probably cried for about 2 minutes... ok maybe 3. I got myself together, wiped my eyes and walked into the room with a huge smile on my face. I didn't want Khyri to feel my anxiety. I thought I heard Khyri call for me. I thought Khyri needed my assistance. I thought I needed to scoop up my baby boy and take him home. I was wrong. By the time I got into the room - home skillet had moved on and didn't need me at all! He was over at the sink with his teacher washing his hands (they have to wash their hands every time they enter the room). Geesh!?!? Doesn't he remember the good times at the house with me??!?! *pouting*

After the hubby and I met all three of Khyri's teachers, including one that has the same name as me!, we placed Khryi's bookbag in his cubby and snuck out while he played with an abacus. We took some photos on the way out - doesn't this place look GREAT!??

I was pretty proud of myself for not completely breaking down, in front of the children, at the school hahahahha. I took some pictures of the building after we walked out. Kielle looked back at Khyri as we left and said "Bye Bye Rhee". The smile on her face let me know everything was going to be just fine. After we dropped off Khy, Kielle and I headed off to Publix supermarket. There's nothing like purposeful shopping to distract your thoughts :-)

At 2:30pm I headed over to LAA so that I could get my security badge. The badge office closed at 3:00pm so I figured I would just take Khyri home after I got my badge. I sat down, snapped my photo, and became an official LAA parent :-)

When we got to Khyri's classroom, I peek in and what do I see?, Khyri sitting at a small table eating baby carrots with two other kids :-)

The teachers said that Khyri did really well! One teacher said that he ate 3 helpings for vegetables. Is this the same kid that had a pea stand off with me?!?! Another teacher said that he went straight down for his nap. All three teachers were amazed that Khyri can read. They said that he read 3 books to the teachers. One teacher said that when Khyri worked on the computer he started reading the prompts on the screen and she was impressed :-) I told them that I work with him at home and that I would appreciate them challenging him as much as possible. Let's keep the knowledge train moving forward! After speaking with the teachers, I sat down at the table (after washing my hands of course), and chatted a bit with Khyri and the other kiddos. 

When he finished his carrots, we grabbed his bookbag and headed to the car. On the way out, we had to stop at the aquarium (The Georgia Aquarium is a partner with the school) and of course pose with the dolphin statue outside!

 

 

Khyri will be going to LAA full time five days a week from 8:30am to 6:00pm. I'm still a little uneasy knowing that now Khyri will be spending most of his time with someone other than me :-( Now he will get most of his education from someone other than me :-(  I mean, I know just because he's at school doesn't mean I have to stop teaching him, but I finally realize that my teaching will truly be supplemental now :-( But... its ok! This is why we searched for the right school. This is what we have prepared for. This is just the beginning - and it was a GREAT start :-)

CREATIVE LEARNING

Even though its summer time, I want to make sure the munchkins continue to learn a little something each day :-) Learning never stops...

Kielle has started speaking! She has about 25 words in her vocabulary and she is even starting to say two words phrases like "Hello Daddy", "Night night Nas", and "Read (the) book". For the past month Kielle has been calling me Mama, but recently it has switched to Mimi. I think she's trying to say Mommy, but I've gotta be honest I get tickled when I hear her call me Mimi :-) To encourage Kielle to learn more words and express herself with words instead of hollers we've been doing a lot of repetition exercises with her. If she wants say the blanket, I'll say "Do you want the blanket?" Usually I get a groan or a grunt in response. Then I follow up with "Say blanket" and she'll try to repeat the word. So far its working well. She's awesome :-) I definitely think she's going to be a chatterbox!

I can't even believe that I was worried about Khyri's speech! He has blossomed so much. I'm still glad I put him in speech therapy, though, because I think it gave us the jump start we needed. Now his little lips don't stop flapping. hahahaha. He loves to ask, "What's that?", which is good because it helps expand his vocabulary. His current fixation is construction vehicles - tractors, cranes, and bobcats. You name it; Khyri loves it. With all of the construction going on in Cobb County, I am forever pointing out something to Khyri!

In addition to our trips to the zoo ... well ok PetSmart ahhahaha, I've tried to incorporate some different techniques to teach the munchkins their letters, shapes, and colors. Here are a few activities that we've been doing over the summer to make sure that we keep learning fun!

Shapes & Spelling with Qtips and Cotton Balls

 

Fun with Blocks & Legos

still working on sharing!

Spelling with Grapes

Writing

Reading

 

Crafts!

Counting... and Gymnastics

I came across a good deal on my favorite frugalista site hip2save.com for a Thomas the Train magazine subscription. I love this magazine and so does Khyri! He likes going to the mailbox and getting his very own piece of mail - just like Joe on Blues Clues...Mail time! ahahahah. The magazine has short stories and activities for preschoolers. So while I'm reading Parents magazine, he's reading Thomas & Friends. hahahaha

Khyri starts his preschool program in two weeks. He'll be going everyday from 9 to 6. I'm sad that he will be getting most of his education from someone other than me, but its a great school and I know he's going to love it and develop tremendously. Kielle and I will just have to hold it down at Mosley Academy while he's gone :-)

FULL CIRCLE

I have a few friends that I have literally known all of my life. My friend Najah has been in my life since I was born. Her father and my father were BFFs in undergrad at Columbia University! We go waaaayyyy back :-) For a good part of my life we even lived in the same building in Harlem.

Of course as the years went by Naj and I grew apart - this was pre internet and cell phones :-) hahahhaha. Naj came down here to go to Clark Atlanta and while I went to Tufts. I had no idea she was even down here. Then when I came down to Atlanta for graduate school my dad casually mentioned - you know Najah's down there!?!? Uh no I didn't!(My father is good for holding information back)

We reconnected and what do you know we both became preggers within 6 months of each other! Aziz and Khyri are seriously two peas in a pod. We have playdates often and I love catching them in their pjs! ahhahahah

I think its amazing that our fathers had two little girls that they raised together and now Najah and I have two little boys that play together. Its awesome to see how life comes full circle!